Do moments make life or is life made of moments?

It is very hot and very humid in Paris today. The trains are not air conditioned and I can feel the human heat escape as the doors open and I get in and sit near the window. People around me are sighing and complaining. I am reading a book: about a 54 year old janitor of a posh residential building in Paris, who has spent years hating these rich people, making herself inconspicuous and devouring litterature and art, hating her parents who never cared for her future when she was young, hating that unknown rich man who betrayed her sister and left her to die in thunderous rains. And then, after 54 years, her life alters as two people coming from the very milieu she hates: a 60 year old rich but simple man, and a 12 year old rich but simple girl. She realises that she is now capable of loving again, sure that her fate won't be the same as her sister's.

3 weeks of this joy and she gets killed by a truck as she races across the street to push a drunk beggar off it. As she lies on the concrete knowing full well that she is going to die, she thinks of all the happy moments of her life. 54 years of life and 2 pages full of happy moments. Just this realisation brings a tear to my eye. 54 years of existence, but happy moments that can qualify as lifetimes. This is life: Looking for eternal moments in an ordinary ourney...chercher les toujours dans le jamais. C'est ça la vie: chercher les toujours dans le jamais.

Nature

Away from Paris, in a small town in Sarthe, I could smell the trees, feel the wet grass under my bare feet, see horses moving with grace, grazing quietly, see thousands of stars in the sky, the crescent moon behind light fluffy clouds, hear birds chirp, small insects buzz, see the fog, the sunrise, take long walks, introspect. All the things I love in life. Yet, I'm happy to be in Paris. Why is it so?

I love being alone with nature, but I love being in a crowd as well. I love communicating with trees and mountains, but I also long for human voices. I love observing animals in their natural surroundings, but I also like watching strangers in the metro, on the streets.

Where are the days when I could get all of this at once? Why are we humans replacing Mother nature instead of trying to live with her? Why do we always look to dominate her? I still need my Mother around me, and I think we all do though only some of us are aware of it. So lets use less electricity, use the common transport more often, walk when we can to work, recycle paper...let's try to work back towards the natural equilibrium!

Time

I wonder who invented the notion of time and clocks.
Happiness and satisfaction makes time rush forward.
Boredom and loneliness makes time move slowly.
Death brings time to a stop.
Why do we then need a clock and numbers to decipher what time it is??

14 juillet

I was standing in front of the eiffel tower, with thousands of people around, not a cm sq of grass visible. Looking up at the tower, we were all waiting for the fireworks to begin and then we suddenly heard the first one...behind us!! We were all waiting for the fireworks to launch from the tower, but they were from trocadéro this year. La boulette, franchement!

This year's fireworks were dedicated to quebec's 400 years and the firework attraction were the ones leaving gold dust in the sky for several seconds. The show lasted 40 mins. The fireworks were launched in tandem with the opera music playing from the eiffel tower. As the last opera song reached crescendo, so did the fireworks and so did the crowd. My lower jaw was drooping and I couldn't help it.

Being jolted back to reality so quickly was a little shocking. Especially since a metro ride that usually takes 20 mins took 120 mins, in a sandwiched position...but it was well worth it.